Love: The End is the Beginning
1 Corinthians 13 is one of the most famous passages on love. It is read at weddings everywhere and referenced in just about every sermon I’ve ever heard on the subject of love. In essence it is a list of characteristics on love: “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” Reading these words has made me feel powerless and exhausted.
No seriously, just reading it makes me tired. It lists, quite frankly, things I do every day. I envy, boast, am arrogant and rude, definitely insist on my own way…like daily. And don’t even get me started on irritable!
When I read this, I know that I am not capable of this kind of love. At the same time, I know that scripture says that there is no good work that God doesn’t equip us for, (2 Timothy 3:17, 2 Peter 1:3, & Hebrews 13:21).
God does not expect us to power through this.
He is totally aware of our limitations and has totally provided for them. So, what’s the problem? Why aren’t we able to get it together and love well? I have struggle with the Truth that God will supply everything I need for life and godliness when I have tried to apply this list. I have totally come to the end of myself, which is exactly where God wanted me.
I firmly believe that love is not something God thought we were capable of. Just like the ten commandments weren’t a list of things God expects us to keep. He is totally aware of our limitations. He intended them to bring us to His feet and the end of ourselves. I don’t know about you, but there is nothing that brings me to the end of myself like my husband and children. Our failure to love even the people closest to us is meant to help us realize our chasm of need.
When I started researching this love list of impossible things in 1 Corinthians, I found the answer. Those pairs of characteristics are distortions; they are indications of something gone wrong in us. At the bottom of all the “do nots” is a misunderstanding of God’s love. All of them. The root is either a hurt or pain that has created fissures in our souls that we have not allowed God to fully heal in us, or it’s a sin that leaves us with a gaping hole that we haven’t let God fully deal with. We are left with cracks, or sometimes chunks taken out of us. When we aren’t whole, we are not vessels that can overflow with love.
God can equip us all day long, but if our vessel isn’t whole; we aren’t useful. 2 Timothy 2:21 tells us,” … if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work”.
If we can’t hold what He pours; it just leaks right out.
It doesn’t matter how hard we try we can’t be conformed from the outside. We have to be transformed from the inside. Romans 12:2 explains that we are not to be “conformed to this world”, but instead we are to “be transformed by the renewing of our minds”. We are under constant pressure to perform. This pressure is not from God; it’s what we put on ourselves when we listen to the voice of the world. We have to be transformed by renewal, not conformed by pressure. I have determined that I will stop treating myself like Jello. I was not created to be pressed into a mold, but to reflect my creator.
“So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him” (1 John 4:16 ESV).
Before we can abide in love we have to know and believe the love God has for us. I love how the NIV phrases this “we know and rely on the love God has for us”. The NIV replaces “believe” with “rely”. The first sentence of 1 John 4:16 is pivotal! It took me forever to see the extent of the meaning.
It implies that we are to know and believe the love that God loves us with, the depth of His feelings for us.
But I saw another meaning also. It also implies that we are to know and believe or rely on the love that God has for us; meaning that love is available to us, or love that He puts at our disposal. Not only does our being able to love depend on knowing and believing that God loves us, but He puts that same love at our disposal and we can rely on Him for the power and strength to love. The way to tap in to that power and rely on it is explained in the second sentence of this same verse; “God is love and whoever abides in love abides in God and God abides in him.”
Abiding in God is how we love. I know…it’s that simple! Unfortunately, we have to dredge out the practical and usually complicated way this actually works out in real life.
We have to let His healing light shine on all those shattered places so that He can fill and close up all the things that have left us broken.
We have to allow ourselves the time needed in His presence because only His presence brings transformation.
God, open my eyes to see what I am not capable of and let that realization propel me to your feet. Help me to k
now and believe not just that you love me, but that because of your love you have put Jesus at my disposal. You have set him in my heart! He is everything needed for life and godliness. He is everything needed for love. Teach me to abide and out of that abiding let love flow. In Jesus name, Amen.
Lauren's book: A Love that Conquers
