"And it Will Not be Taken From Her"

Recently I was asked, “What exactly do you mean when you say that you prayed about it and felt God give you direction or discernment?” I was slightly stumped on how to even articulate the sensation. It is an unexplainable feeling, and all I can describe it as is peace or contentment in a decision or realization. Recently I had one of those moments where I just felt seen by God. A couple of little moments led to one big realization and I am confident God was always orchestrating these moments together to teach me something.

This semester I have been feeling convicted about the amount of time I waste on my hour-long ride to and from school three days a week. My friend Lorey encouraged me to make a schedule and plan my time in the car so that it can be purposeful. So I created a schedule, and on this particular day I had scheduled myself to listen to a podcast. I typically listen to Francis Chan (if I can find a sermon I haven’t already heard, haha) but today I decided to switch it up. I chose to listen to a sermon from FreshLife church by Jenni Lusko. She began telling the story in Luke 10, about Mary and Martha. Essentially what happens is Martha opens her home to Jesus, with the help of her sister Mary. However, once Jesus gets there Mary abandons her responsibilities and chooses to sit at the feet of Jesus and listen. Scripture says, “But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made”(Luke 10:40), and it goes on to say that she even became angry at Mary for not helping her finish all the work that needed to be done. BUT Jesus. He says to Martha, “you are worried and upset about things, but few things are needed – or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken from her.” (Luke 10:41-42)

Having grown up in church, I have heard this story multiple times. So, I turned the podcast off about 5 minutes in and chose a podcast from a different church and pastor, from a couple years ago. A couple minutes in the pastor announces he will be preaching from Luke 10, about Martha and Mary. I immediately thought to myself, “What is God trying to teach me?” But in the moment I could not figure out what he could be saying. I did a heart check and thought about if this applied to me, and decided that I could not directly relate to the story at the moment.

Fast-forward exactly 7 days, it is about 1am and I was looking over the amount of schoolwork I had due soon. I also had commitments to work, spend time with friends and family, serve at church, and serve at Lavish bible study. I began to feel completely overwhelmed, and I felt all these insecurities rush into my thoughts, “You aren’t smart enough to do this”, and “You will never be a good a teacher,” “You aren’t a good friend”, “You aren’t a good daughter or sister,” are just a few of the many lies I began to believe about myself. It is no coincidence that in the moment that I felt the most defeated by the balancing act of school, work, social life, and serving, Satan decided to plant seeds of doubt about myself, and in what I believe God has called me to do.

As I was sitting in my room that night completely freaking out, God brought back to my mind the story of Mary and Martha. This time it all made sense. I realized that I am Martha in the story. I enjoy serving others, and I am quick to over commit because I don’t want to let people down. Sometimes I am more caught up in the ways I am serving God through discipling others, serving at church, and other ways of serving Jesus that I don’t take the time to sit at his feet (or word) and fully participate in the relationship we have. This realization challenged me to think, am I on my knees in prayer as much as I am “serving God” in other areas of my life? Am I allowing his word to fill me up, so that I can pour into others or am I just running on empty? God never called me to serve him in my own strength.

The intentionality of God is one of His many attributes that I will never get over. The way he orchestrates moments together like this one constantly blows my mind. This realization occurred after multiple seemingly insignificant moments, but with each step God was building the foundation for the big realization he wanted me to see all along. To sum up what this story has taught me, I would say serving God is good and important BUT it should be an overflow of the love God has lavished on us. It is NOT us operating out of our own strength to “measure up” (because we never will). We cannot overflow love to others if we are not connected to the source. My encouragement to you is read the Bible for yourself. Don’t let your only perception of God be what other people tell you about him. God desires SO MUCH MORE for your life. Serving him is not about checking a box, it is about expressing the extravagant love and grace that God has given us, to others. I am so encouraged to know that nothing with God is wasted, no moment is without purpose, and he is always working things together for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28). Be intentional about spending time with God, just like you would in any friendship or relationship. Scripture tells us in Jeremiah 29:13, “You will seek me and find me when you search for me with your whole heart.” Make every effort to know God. It will be the most beautiful and fulfilling relationship you have ever had the privilege of participating in. Kind of like this ice sculpture pictured below.