Abiding in Christ
Over the last month, I've been reading through the book “When God Writes Your Life Story.” This book has been sitting on my shelf for over 2 years now, as I’ve been meaning to read it for months, but just never got around to it. One of my main goals for 2018 so far has been to make an effort to read more books that will strengthen and deepen my love for Christ. With this goal fresh (hopefully it stays fresh for the next 11 months ha!), I’ve finally picked up this book, and it has exceeded all of my expectations. The Lord has used it to work in my heart in so many ways.
[Some preface to all of this: Fall semester of 2017 contained many different challenges for me. I was struggling with so many things spiritually and emotionally. I was questioning certain aspects as to what God’s will was for me, how to trust my spiritual discernment, how to handle certain areas of pain, etc. During the fall season specifically, I felt so disconnected from the Lord. Even as a Christian, it can still be difficult to feel the Lord’s presence at times, when you aren’t truly searching for it with your whole heart. Sometimes, in fact, it’s easy to write off important things like intentional prayer and scripture reading, because it’s tempting to think “well I don’t really have to spend time with Him today, I’m super busy He’ll understand,” and several other excuses.
Well, that’s just it. Those things are nothing more than flat EXCUSES; temptations we must not give into, and things we must fight to overcome. Something I’ve learned recently is that knowing Jesus really is a relationship, not a religion. I’ve heard that phrase probably 100 times, never feeling the truth of it until recently. Fall 2017 was such a distinct point in which I felt disconnected from the Lord because I neglected time with Him, and didn’t prioritize pursuing Him as I should. Thankfully, He brought these realizations to my heart around November 2017, awakening my heart and giving me grace through it all.]
I’ve recently been learning how to learn to pray with intention and faith (Lauren’s books have been a huge contributor to this!), as I’ve kept prayer a journal over the past few months, and learned the value in talking to God daily. I am so confident that the Lord chose this past semester for me to focus on that heavily, as I experienced many different reinforcers of learning about the importance of prayer.
Even after starting Lauren’s study, the concept of prayer journaling was popping up everywhere! So many friends (outside of bible study) started telling me about how they had started keeping a prayer journal and asked if I had one. It was encouraging to hear stories of how the Lord has worked in their lives, and being able to reflect upon written, answered prayers. I also experienced some painful lessons and trials, for which I am now thankful I went through, because during the pain, the Lord gently turned me back to Him, opening my eyes to how incapable and weak I am without Him.
As a result of all of this, a theme that has been incorporated into my life in the last couple months has been the message of “Abide,” although I haven’t realized it specifically until just last month.
The keyword is drawn from John 15:4-5 :
“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”
Again, this is a passage I have read countless times before. But when I read it a couple weeks ago, I felt like it was a brand new passage of scripture that God was speaking directly to me.
{Quick Jesus story : I’ve been making a personal habit to read one of the books on my book list right before I go to bed. As I’ve been reading “When God Writes Your Life Story,” I’ve been trying to keep up with reading each night before bed.
The other week, I got home late one night, after having the longest day of school, work, and stress about the mile-long list of other things I had to finish through that week. I was ready to curl up in bed and snooze, but something (*cough* the Holy Spirit *cough*) urged me to read. I wasn’t too enthusiastic about it but sure enough, I picked up the book and flipped to my current chapter.
The chapter focused on learning to strip ourselves of selfish ambition, and learning to abide in Christ, with emphasis on John 15. To my surprise, as I read through the chapter, I gradually felt a load lifted off of me. I finished that chapter, and then continued to read ANOTHER, feeling so refreshed by the book.
The next morning, I joined some close friends for breakfast at a prayer breakfast event with a devotional speaker. The speaker gave his message, and at the end of it, he asked everyone to stand for the reading of scripture AND GUESS WHAT SCRIPTURE WE READ???? John 15. As they put the verse on the screen, I started freaking out inside (Y’know that feeling when you so clearly feel God placing something on your heart? That OHMYGOSH LORD THAT’S MY VERSE!!!! THAT’S THE VERSE YOU GAVE ME LAST NIGHT kind of feeling?? Yeah that’s what was going through my head.)
My perspective toward the rest of the week was immediately changed after that encounter. I felt so renewed and encouraged in the Lord. I felt much more eager to take on the challenges facing me, and excited to open my bible the next day and study His word even more.}
Anyways, back to the passage.
After reading it again, I felt as if the Lord was placing thoughts on my heart; very clear thoughts, as if to say,
“Allison. Stop trying to control the reigns of your life. My plans for you are so much greater than you can ever fathom (as His thoughts are higher than ours! Isaiah 55). More importantly, without me, you can do NOTHING. Seek me. Come to me and I will give you rest and peace.”
These are the thoughts that have popped into my head as I have studied this concept. Rest and peace is what I have so longed for lately. I am oftentimes so strong-headed; so eager to be the initiator and the leader of my plans. But oh, what a beautifully painful and humbling experience it is to recognize your flaws and be embraced in the arms of God, soaking in His endless grace. It is a constant picture of salvation. We fall short of His glory. We stray off of His path; yet He runs after us. He pursues us in such a tender way, of which we are so undeserving. He alleviates our pain. He covers our sorrows. He restores our spirit and strengthens us so that we may press on for His glory.
And this knowledge - the fact that as His redeemed, beloved children, we will never experience eternal separation from Him, and that He will always be there as our Father to guide us - truly offers the greatest joy.
Being a Christian isn’t the most glamorous lifestyle. It isn’t instant removal from hurts and trials. In fact, being a Christian can bring more encounters of pain and struggles than experienced before. But we do not walk alone. We don’t even lead our own way! We have a heavenly father who has already written our life story. We have a God who loved us enough to send his son to bear the punishment that we should have endured. We have a savior who is our friend; who cares for, knows, and loves us deeply - more than we will ever know!
All we must do is abide in Him.
This is my prayer for each of us. Remain in Him, sisters!
(Please enjoy the irrelevant, but pretty mountain pictures I took in Colorado last summer :))